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YOUTH MINISTRY
Does Chaos Abound?
Managing a Classroom Setting
by Lex Horton
Maintaining order during a time of youth Bible study is always challenging for leaders. Consider these guidelines as you seek to keep your time of learning under control.
It’s probably best to begin such a discussion by reflecting first on the concept of situational leadership. In short, this style of leadership applies what is needed based on a given situation. One circumstance may require a strong, vocal presence while another might need a more subtle approach.
Keep Expectations Clear
It is important for teenagers to know that although you may not be their parent, you are still responsible for sustaining their learning environment.
As the need arises, communicate your expectations in terms of behavior. (I once had a middle school boy in my class who continually disrupted the group. He often complained about my weekly requests for everyone to open their Bibles. After establishing a rapport with him I eventually was able to say, "Jimmy, I can’t make you read it, but every time you’re with me in a Bible study setting you’re going to have an open Bible in your hands.")
Be Prepared
Being overly prepared can add a few more moments to your preparation time, but in the end, it is much better than finishing a session 15 minutes early without a backup plan.
Youth, especially middle-schoolers, are activity-oriented, so keep them busy.
Nurture Relationships with Your Teens
Build relationships with your youth that extend beyond the teaching time. Talk with them during various church functions. Ask non-threatening questions about their lives that indicate your interest in them as individuals.
As time and energy allow, take the opportunity to visit your teens’ "turf." A single well-timed visit (soccer game, band concert, etc.) can establish a deeper connection, especially with young people who present the most pressing challenges. (To manage my time during my local church youth ministry days, I would sometimes show up early to see the youth and then slip out early, or show up late and hang around for a few minutes after the event.)
Know Thyself
• Know your own tendencies. How do you tend to react in certain situations?
• Be aware of your role and function. For what are you responsible? For what are you not responsible?
• Be comfortable with who you are. You can be you. Let your teenagers be themselves.
• It’s not about you. Remember, an obnoxious or impolite person’s action toward you almost always says more about them than it does about you.
• Don’t be afraid to be the so-called "bad" person. Sometimes it is important to be a disciplinarian.
• Be confident. As a wise, seasoned minister once shared with me, “You have to have thick skin and a warm heart when you’re doing ministry.”
Never Underestimate the Power of Physical Presence
• Be aware of your body language, communicating intentionally through facial expressions, eye contact, and the way you carry yourself.
• Use your physical presence to communicate in subtle, yet effective ways. Exude confidence, calmness, and control. If any youth becomes particularly silly or talkative, close the space between yourself and the teenager as you—and this is the important part—continue to talk. Simply move toward them, perhaps even stepping in to interrupt across-the-room eye contact. They will usually get the message.
• Let them know in subtle ways that you are aware of what they are doing by working their names into the normal course of your teaching. Direct a statement, question, or scenario their way, calling them by or including their names. For example, "So, as we consider, Sally, what Jesus’ birth means."
• You could also try a gentle touch on the shoulder. For example, if anyone becomes disruptive, gently touch or pat them on the shoulder as you continue to walk and talk. Again, they will usually get the message. (However, be very careful not to give the impression that you’re making inappropriate physical contact.)
• Use eye contact. Look your teens straight in the eye, holding their gaze a bit longer than normal. Or, stop what you’re saying or doing and simply look at them. Once again, they will usually get the message. (I often tell a group I’m teaching, "If I can’t see your eyes, then it’s difficult for me to know if you’re paying attention.")
• There’s no need to make a spectacle of most disruptive situations. In instances like these, it is best to seek ways of subtly yet intentionally communicating to a talkative teenager that you’re aware of their disruption, that you want them to stop, and that it isn’t a huge deal.
Create an "Out" for Them
What may appear as planned teaching techniques might actually be subtle, yet intentional means of diverting a young person’s attention away from what is distracting others and back toward the task at hand. As noted previously, work their names into a question or statement. Or, form pairs or small groups to complete an exercise, intentionally separating troublemakers.
Provide an avenue of success, a way they can do something that has a positive outcome rather than rewarding negative behavior with a punishing response. You could accomplish this by giving a teenager a task to perform like distributing Bibles, collecting pencils, or writing responses on the board during a time of large group discussion. Ask them to hang around afterward to help you straighten the meeting area, using the opportunity to ask the young person about home or school. (Don’t forget to thank them for helping you.)
Be Flexible
Noise and energy go with the territory of youth ministry. Harness the energy and contain the noise, but remember that your young people are experiencing specific developmental stages. Keep their energy levels and mood swings in mind.
When all is said and done, it’s important to let youth be youth without allowing a situation to get out of hand. The key is finding the right balance between the needs of individual teens and the best interests of the larger group.
If Nothing Else Works
• Ask people to change places.
• Speak to a teenager during a meeting in a way that corresponds with the depth of your relationship with that young person. (Be careful not to denigrate them.) The following are examples:
"Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Do we need to chat after the session?"
"We can talk with your parents afterward if you’d like."
• Talk with the pastor or youth minister. They may know something about the teenager’s life that you don’t. However, don’t expect them to provide insight. They may not feel comfortable sharing what they know.
• Talk with parents. However, be careful not to lose credibility by becoming known among teens as a snitch or tattletale.
• Talk with other youth ministry volunteers in your church. At the same time, be careful not to gossip or run others down.
• Resign yourself to the fact that you won’t be able to reach every young person. If a teen doesn’t want to be helped, you won’t be able to help them. On the other hand, don’t give up totally on them or write them off. You may be surprised at a later time by the influence you never realized you were having.
Lex Horton is the editor of Intersection and lives in Macon, Ga., with his wife and three children. Although he has more than twenty years of youth ministry experience in full-time, part-time, and volunteer capacities, he is about to enter uncharted territory as a parent of a teenager.
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