There’s One in Every Crowd
Dealing with a Dominant Person in Your Group Study

by Ken Matthews

If you’ve ever taught adult Sunday school or led a small group study for any length of time, you’ve met one. You know the one I mean—there’s one in every crowd. I’m speaking of the individual whose overbearing personality or excess of opinions on virtually every subject dominates the class discussion. Speaking up is a good thing, and we certainly do not want to quell someone’s passion for the discussion. However, when one individual becomes markedly verbal to the point that less outspoken class members feel intimidated, then it is the leader’s responsibility to make certain that every voice is heard.

Here are some strategies to help you deal with a dominant individual, and to ensure that all members have an opportunity to share his or her opinions.

Establish ground rules. This process alone will do more than anything else in helping you manage your class. If the class has specific guidelines for group discussion, you can always fall back on them if the class digresses. Here are a few important elements you should consider in developing ground rules:

• Use a consistent method for acknowledging who the next speaker will be. One simple method that works well is to ask for a show of hands from all those who wish to share an opinion, and then designate the order in which they will speak.

“Let’s hear from you first, Jeff, then Stephanie, and then you, Carol.”

Remember to vary the speaking order so that the same person isn’t always speaking first, or last.

• Allow the speaker to finish his or her thought without interruption.

• And most importantly, group members should respect each other’s opinions. People will invariably arrive at different understandings—this will not disturb God as much as it will disturb us. Different perspectives can remain between us, but we can still walk along our faith journey together as seekers. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree. While accepting the disparities, however, we shouldn’t ignore them or treat them as unimportant. In fact, as we grow to better understand our differences, we can grow in our appreciation of one another.
  

Avoid going off on tangents. Keep the group focused on the subject under discussion. Straying into matters that are not pertinent to the subject provides fertile ground for the person who holds opinions on every subject. If you catch the group wandering off course, gently bring them back to the topic or question being considered. Restating the original question in a different manner will usually refocus the group.

Withdraw attention from the dominant person—most notably, eye contact. This advice may at first sound callous, but remember that your goal is to get other people talking. Making eye contact and giving added attention to the over-talkative person will only encourage him or her to continue.

Encourage other people to express their opinions. This will help draw out some of the more reserved people in the group. These are some broad questions or invitations that can help persuade others to speak up:

“Would anyone like to comment on that?”
“I’d be interested in hearing what some of the rest of you have to say on this. “
“Who is brave enough to start?”
“Who has an opinion on this?”

Don’t be afraid of silence. Resist the urge to answer your own question. Wait at least seven seconds before you say anything. Seven seconds may seem like an eternity, but it usually feels much longer to you than it does to other members of the group; often people need time to think and formulate a response before speaking up. Make eye contact with those who haven’t spoken and smile at them to help them feel comfortable responding. You might even try calling on someone by name if you feel comfortable doing so. If silence pervades for too long, there is always the possibility that it will encourage the domineering person to speak up yet again. If this happens, try shifting the attention back to others by saying something like, “Excuse me, Bill, your opinion is very interesting, but let’s hear from some others now.”

Affirm people’s answers whenever possible. Never reject an opinion, even if you disagree with it. When you dismiss or negate an opinion, the speaker often feels dismissed or negated, and a naturally timid person may conclude that offering an opinion again is just too risky. People are often reticent to speak up at first, but if they know that you appreciate and value their insights, they’ll open up more willingly. These are a few examples of how you can affirm someone’s input:

“I had never thought of that.”
“That’s an interesting perspective. Who else has one?”

There may be one in every crowd, but following these simple guidelines can help you create a more balanced, substantive discussion without sacrificing the contributions of the domineering person.


Ken Matthews has over tens years experience in Christian education and church leadership. He has a BBA in Computer Information Systems from Georgia State University, and is also a graduate of the Candler School of Theology at Emory University in Atlanta where he received a Master of Divinity. Ken is an avid reader, and also enjoys running and writing fiction.