Walking along the crowded streets of Chicago, I kept my head down as I fought the cold November wind. My hair was a mess, and my tie was flying behind me like a kite. I felt like an idiot for not bringing a coat—probably because I was an idiot. But, through it all, I was trying to look professional since I was there to present and listen to papers at the annual conference of the National Communication Association. I’m a communication “geek” (though I prefer the term “guru”), so don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Frankly, all I wanted to do was get inside to warm up and listen to the next set of studies on religious rhetoric. What? You think there is something more fun to do in Chicago? You’ve obviously never been to a conference like this. Anyway, I was deep in thought about the previous panel and future studies I couldn’t wait to start researching in the library—when it happened.

“Repent now!”

Oh, great. A sidewalk preacher or—more accurately—a sidewalk screamer. This guy, however, had no breath control and kept pausing every couple of seconds, even in the middle of words. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold wind or if he had been a smoker. Either way he was quite peculiar, even for a sidewalk preacher.
“Today is . . . the day of . . . the Lord. So . . . turn away from . . . your sins be . . . fore it is . . . too late, and . . . you find your . . . self in hell!”

I kept hoping he would then tell everyone to trust in Muhammad, Buddha, David Koresh, or anyone except Jesus. But no, he had to say “Jesus.” Unfortunately, this guy even made the Branch Davidians seem sane. Like the Levite and the priest in Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan, everyone was crossing to the other side of the street to avoid getting too close to the man. The dash was so quick you would have thought the red neon sign at Krispy Kreme had flashed on across the street (now that would have been heavenly!). Even I found myself scared I might catch whatever he had, or at least have him thrust at me some poorly written tract with stick figures being cast into hell. So I kept walking (on the other side of the street, of course) and hurried to my conference. I’d go back for the doughnuts later after I thought the coast was clear.

Later, this guy kept haunting my mind. I kept wishing I’d walked over to talk to him. I would have looked him straight in the eyes and said, “For God’s sake, shut up!” I don’t mean that profanely. I honestly believe his comments drove people away from God just as quickly as they were literally running away from him. Many people walking by probably left thinking Christians were kind of scary and kooky, not to mention unable to speak more than three syllables at a time.

Whenever Christians say or do stupid things, it damages unbelievers’ perceptions of our Lord and Savior and may prevent them from ever accepting Jesus. We represent God in all we do and say. As we are reminded in 1 Peter 4:11, “If you speak, you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God.”1 That’s a lot of pressure on us when you think about it. When we stick our foot in our mouth it not only makes us look bad, but it also hurts how people view God.

In May 2005, Newsweek accused some U.S. soldiers of flushing a Qur’an down the toilet. This article sparked protests and riots in the Middle East that resulted in more than a dozen deaths. The publication later retracted the story, but it was too late; people died because of the erroneous things written in the article. Likewise, Christians sometimes say misguiding and dumb things that ultimately drive away unbelievers and even split churches. This has resulted in the spiritual death of drastically more than the dozen affected by the Newsweek story.

While the Chicago street yeller must have been tone deaf, I hope such a charge will not be leveled against me in this book (there will be plenty of other reasons to attack me). While the style of this book is a bit abnormal, I chose it deliberately. There are two quick aspects I should note about the tone. First, it may strike you as causal and informal at times (rather than a King James Bible style, it is more like the Living Bible). This style is intended to keep the discussion at a conversational level, which is how we need to communicate with other people. Too often it seems we are too worried about using big words and complex concepts to sound intelligent when we should focus on sounding natural. As a result, this book is written much as one would talk so it may serve as a role model for communication. Certainly it is a role model for communication; it will be up to you to decide if it is a good one.

The second aspect of the tone that may strike some as unusual is the sarcasm. While some may find it humorous, others may find it inappropriate at times. How can I be so sarcastic about religious leaders and their comments? Please remember that my attempts to have a little fun with situations do not mean I do not care about those I mention. Instead, this whole book is written because I care deeply about all Christians, even televangelists, and truly desire that all Christians, especially televangelists, would become more effective in reaching people with the love of Jesus.

The humor is simply my attempt to make this book enjoyable and educational—if you can make people laugh they are more likely to remember your point. Plus, laughing can keep you from crying. I will deal with issues of criticism in more detail in chapter 11. However, it is worth noting that I am not the only one to make the argument. Comedian Steven Colbert, formerly from The Daily Show and now host of The Colbert Report, explained,

Colbert makes an excellent point (as he would say on The Colbert Report, he nailed it!) as he explains why someone can make fun of religious individuals without mocking God. In fact, it is because of my love for God that I satirize those who I feel are being poor ambassadors for God.

This book is a compilation of lessons I have learned from watching Christians in person and in the media make grave rhetorical errors. I don’t claim to be an expert (just a “geek” and a “guru”), but I hope I can help you as you learn appropriate times, places, and ways to communicate your beliefs. This book deals with the pitfalls to avoid while planning what you will say and offers ways to be more effective in delivering your message.

I hope you will find these lessons on communicating effectively to be insightful and enjoyable. I urge you to recommend it to all your friends and enemies, and give it to everyone for Christmas. And please, if anyone happens to see the religious terror of the Chicago streets, give him a copy of the book for me.

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