I don’t like golf.¹

Many of my friends live to golf. One went so far as to compose an ode to the spirituality of playing golf. Meeting God on the golf course! I just don’t get it.

The whole concept of golf is completely beyond me. If it doesn’t involve trying to hit the ball into an alligator’s mouth or under the dinosaur’s foot, I don’t see any fun in it. I prefer to listen to live music. I long for that great day when we beat golf clubs into guitar stands and turn golf courses into music festival sites.

Yes, I can’t stand golf, but I love the Allman Brothers Band. Now we’re talking about spiritual experiences! Yeah, that’s right—I have spiritual experiences with God at Allman Brothers concerts.

The only liquids I consume at concerts and festivals are soft drinks and water. But whereas some folks speak of the tranquility and the quietness of eighteen holes of golf, and others talk of the quiet stillness of meditating alone in a solitary place, I am alive with God in the middle of a crowd uniting under the soulful power of God’s gift of music.

The joyous notes of “Statesboro Blues” and “One Way Out” fill me with charismatic joy. The lengthy jams of “Whipping Post” and “Jessica” take me on spiritual journeys. I close my eyes and the music carries me into God’s Presence. During these musical excursions, God speaks to my soul; God’s presence reaches out and holds me; God takes my hand and leads me places.

Don’t even try to tell me otherwise. I’ve doubted it and questioned it myself. After all, I’m not in a church building; I’m not listening to a preacher, and I’m not even listening to an evangelically “authorized and approved” Christian rock band. There’s nothing specifically “holy” in our mindset about a music festival, and certainly not an Allman Brothers show. Most of the folks present wouldn’t set foot in a church, and if they did they’d be made to feel so uncomfortable and out of place they’d have to leave.

But hey, there’s nothing specifically holy and moral about golf, either. Haven’t you watched Caddyshack?²

God’s creation, though fallen and sinful, is a holy creation. And music is a wonderful, holy gift from God. And, since God gives gifts and blesses whomever God wishes, I’m affirming that the Allman Brothers Band has been blessed with the holy gift of music.

Now, for all I know, Gregg Allman is a rabid golfer. If so, more power to him. I hope he lets his long blond hair down so it blows freely and that he wears a short-sleeved Harley Davidson t-shirt that exposes his multi-colored tattooed arms. Heck, if Mr. Allman invited me to hit a few rounds of golf, I’d bite my tongue and be off in an instant! Just as soon as I put on my tie-dyed blues-fest t-shirt and my cut-off jeans, and put in my earring . . . .

 

Notes

¹ Just in case you didn’t get that, I HATE golf.

² For the record, I love Caddyshack—thanks be to God for the gift of Rodney Dangerfield.